heart skipped a beat, and when I caught it you were out of reach.

(Don't spend your life alone, who cares who's around anyhow?)

You mean that much to me and it's hard to show
Gets hectic inside of me, when you go
Can I confess these things to you? Well, I don't know
Embedded in my chest and it hurts to hold

I couldn't spill my heart.....

(Can I give it up to you?)

just now i overheard some small kid in my block shouting "TURN ON ON THE LIGHT". moments later, a woman i assume to be the mother of the kid scolds, "DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE SWITCH OFF THE LIGHT WHEN YOU ARE BATHING???" hahahaha holyshit i laughed so hard. the boy's sibling must have switched off the light while he was in the toilet. but come on, who hasn't done this to your siblings before? it's freaking hilarious to flick the switch and hear your brother/sister shout "OEI" or sth along those lines. hahahaha.

oh, that Dr Hauschka shampoo in the picture is so nice. best shampoo i've used in my entire life. except it doesn't belong to me. my mum uses it. i use the Aesop gentle scalp cleansing shampoo on the far right. next to it is the Dr Bronner soap... the peppermint one is so nice. leaves your skin feeling so cool after the water runs off.

oh well there is nothing much for me the blog about so i'm going off. need to do more work. 1 more week to As. it's really here.

20 more days to 90% freedom. (bio mcq on the 3rd. pshh.)

i feel like i can't see the end point clearly. what does all this studying amount to? it all feels so surreal.
i would probably describe myself as disillusioned right now.

sometimes i think about As and it seems insurmountable. other times i think abt As and i feel confident. which one is which?

i guess i probably have to stop looking at the first week of papers as a whole, i should look at the individual papers and think about that, instead of treating it all as one gargantuan mass.

i was bored. decided to film a short one. hopefully after As i can make a better, full length video.
i think only a handful of people know this.... hobby. of sorts.

Math
rijc prelim 09 p2
rijc prelim 09 p1
yjc prelim 09 p1 (all yj students must be freaking math geniuses. either that or their whole cohort failed math)
yjc prelim 09 p2
tpjc prelim 09 p1
ajc prelim 09 p1
ajc prelim 09 p2
cjc prelim 09 p2 (did it already but can't find it.)
njc prelim 09 p2
mjc prelim 09 p1

Chem
cjc prelim 09 p2
sajc prelim 09 p2
sajc prelim 09 p3
cjc prelim 09 p3
njc prelim 09 p2
njc prelim 09 p3
ajc prelim 09 p3
vjc prelim 09 p3 (i thought this paper was quite do-able, until i marked my answers.)

ha. ha. ha. fuck.

i was just trying to google the three gorges dam for my resource file and i typed "three gorges damn" into the search box. my brain is dying on me.

currently, everything feels so surreal.

i can't even think of things to blog about.

swim team! not everyone was inside though.

i have no idea why when i uploaded the black and white pictures to fb all the photos looked whitewashed.

i should really be sleeping right now.

so school ended two days ago, with the baccalaureate service.

i feel that i have changed so much. i probably cannot recognise the me at the start of j1 right now. i have made so many friends, shared so many good (and bad) times with those around me....

i really hope that my friends will keep in contact with me. i will try my part, but at the end of the day it all boils down to the willingness of both parties. i sincerely pray that there will be many many more good years with my friends by my side, sharing laughs and just having adventures with them.

sometimes i wish i could turn back the clock and go back to the times when i did something bad to someone. but the deed is already done. i can't change any of it. i can just sit and hope that the people who i have hurt can find it in their heart to forgive my transgressions. i was a different person a year ago, and i truly am sorry for everything that i did wrong. even the current me would not want to be friends with the me a year ago.

now is going to be the beginning of.... life. a life in which i would have to choose my own path to go down. i want to make this life my own. all the big decisions are scaring me. whenever i look toward the future, all i see is an insurmountable obstacle. this might be so, but everyone has to tackle this obstacle. it will make me the person i am going to be. all that i have gone through up till now has been to prepare me for what is to come next. i cannot afford to let down the people who have stood by my side all this while.

i just want to thank my friends, for just being my friends. even the "hi and bye" friends. this might have been said a million times over, but i shall say it again.

I LOVE YOU ALL.

"destiny is the bridge that you build to the one you love"

i wish it were that simple.

never judge people based on what others say. you do not know the person, so don't jump to conclusions.
it is unfair to the said person. how would you feel if someone were to talk shit about you and people judged you based on that?

just don't.

rumours are often baseless. go and get to know the person before you behave so shallow.

this is how i feel. it is not directed at anyone in any way. this is just a rant.

also, 500 days of summer was easily the best movie i've watched this year. the temper trap is really getting big!

this is why i love the sky.



i know, lovely crane porn. afga precisa seems to get blues perfectly.
this is why sky blue is my favourite colour.

i'm still bummed from what happened yesterday.

was bored so decided to play around with my new lens and new poster.



i am having a ridiculously bad bout of sinus right now... my nose is running like usain bolt. just watched episode 2 of gossip girl. i only can watch it either on wednesdays or on weekends, because i am banning myself from the computer. sigh after this i have to get back to studying.
sidenote: it takes forever to finish a roll of 36 exposures! and i am too lazy to change my guitar strings.

well the past week has been rough.
felt like shit.
nausea, loss of appetite, the feeling that my stomach is a bottomless pit.
loss of focus, day dreaming.
walking around aimlessly.
obsessive compulsive behaviour.
sleeplessness.
loneliness.
extreme sadness.
felt like crying.

that pretty much summed up my week. but i'm much better now. talking about it really helps. but now i have to let time heal my wounds.

and i came to a frightening realisation. others around me may be feeling the exact same things... but in school all appears to be well.

i'm a mess. )):

i was thinking of making a playlist. and then, i was listen to a song which reminded me of the beach. so this playlist shall be songs that i would want to listen to when im at the beach.

1) Coast Of Carolina - Telekinesis
2) Fistful Of Sand - The Bravery
3) Silver Stallion - Cat Power
4) It Grew On You - Foreign Born
5) First Day Of Sun - God Is An Astronaut
6) Unattainable - Little Joy
7) Let It Fall - Lykke Li
8) I'm Outta Time - Oasis
9) Seaweed Song - Passion Pit
10) Beachcomber - Pomegranates

this playlist is very sketchy but i hope i look at this playlist in the future and it gives me inspiration... if i were to really make a condensed playlist of 10 songs that i could listen to the beach, then i would miss out a lot of really good songs. these songs were taken from my top rated in itunes... so i think its already kinda biased. i think this whole paragraph fails to communicate what im trying to say but i cant be bothered to type it again. so, bleah.

had a hilarious chat with lee. she can't do stats to save her life. she said some stuff... which i had similar views on. HAHAHA.

today is going to be a loooong day. going to be out from lunch all the way till after dinner. my cameras and i are going on a roadtrip!

11:07You have connected
11:07LYREHS entered the room.
11:07daryl. entered the room.
11:07you entered the room.

daryl. 11:07
sheryl fang!

Jing Ming. 11:07
HI SHERYL

LYREHS 11:07
omg
what
haha

Jing Ming. 11:07
HAHAHA
WE HAVE A QUESTION

LYREHS 11:07
NO

daryl. 11:08
lol she so scared alrdy

Jing Ming. 11:08
what no

LYREHS 11:08
i have a right not to answer!

Jing Ming. 11:08
WHY ARENT YOU COMING
FOR TMR'S GH

daryl. 11:08
ure CORNERED.

LYREHS 11:08
hahah!

daryl. 11:08
this is msn gang.

Jing Ming. 11:08
WHY

daryl. 11:08
REPLY
REPLY

Jing Ming. 11:08
ANSWER THE QUESTION

daryl. 11:08
REPLY
LOL

Jing Ming. 11:09
NOW

daryl. 11:09
i am freakin laughing

Jing Ming. 11:09
I KNOW RIGHT THIS IS DAMN FUNNY

LYREHS 11:09
crazyyy!!

Jing Ming. 11:09
REPLY LA
DONT STATE THE OBVIOUS

LYREHS 11:09
hi
hahahha

daryl. 11:09
thats not the response!

Jing Ming. 11:09
DONT PLAY MIND GAMES

daryl. 11:09
we were looking for!

LYREHS 11:09
whos playyyyingggg

daryl. 11:09
CHARISSA.
ONLY.

LYREHS 11:09
no!
i mean
hahah that wasnt what i was saying abtttt
hahaha eh why you all must always mention charissa one

daryl. 11:10
cos you like her
HAHA

LYREHS 11:10
-_-

Jing Ming. 11:10
ANSWER!

daryl. 11:10
you boy

Jing Ming. 11:10
WHY ARENT YOU COMING

daryl. 11:10
boy in girl's clothing!
KNOCK KNOCK

LYREHS 11:11
the sky's so dark!
have to go now!
byeee

Jing Ming. 11:11
WTF

LYREHS 11:11
OMG
STOP IT JM

Jing Ming. 11:11
THE SKY WAS DARK SINCE 7

LYREHS 11:11
I HATE IT WHEN PPL SAY THE F WORD

Jing Ming. 11:11
WHAT THE FISH!

LYREHS 11:11
ITS VERY RUDE OKAY PLS STOP IT THANKS

Jing Ming. 11:11
WHAT THE FISH!

daryl. 11:11
eh she shouting leh.

Jing Ming. 11:11
FISH
NO

daryl. 11:11
pls dont adjust the volume.

LYREHS 11:11
its just capssss

Jing Ming. 11:12
YEAH SEE
SHE CANT SHOUT

daryl. 11:12
this is the original.

Jing Ming. 11:12
HER VOICE SO SOFT

LYREHS 11:12
argh
pls i choose not to only

Jing Ming. 11:12
IS THAT YOUR FINAL ANSWER?

LYREHS 11:12
what?

Jing Ming. 11:12
OH WAIT THAT WASNT THE ANSWER.

LYREHS 11:12
eh dun twist my words!

Jing Ming. 11:12
SO WHY ARENT YOU COMING
LAZY

11:12LYREHS left the room.

Jing Ming.
11:12
-.-

daryl.
11:12
wahlao
she answer one qn also cannot

Jing Ming. 11:13
I KNOW RIGHT
HAHA

daryl. 11:13
basket

Jing Ming. 11:13
MAYBE SHE COULDNT HANDLE THE CAPS BOMBING

daryl. 11:13
ol
lol
she also got ammo lor!

Jing Ming. 11:13
HAHA
BUT TOO LITTLE

daryl. 11:13
her caps lock cannot perma on

Jing Ming. 11:14
not enough MP

daryl. 11:14
must be she go recharge now

edit: its the day after and i just looked at this post. it is way too long. it is ridonkulously long. taking up so much real estate.

the holidays are here. but that means that the As are drawing even closer. i want to just waste this holiday away. but every time i think about what i have to study it seems that i have to start doing it immediately. it seems like 2 months is insufficient time. HELP.



this picture i took seems to relate to what i am feeling right now.